Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Big Girls Don't Cry...at Work.


After I wrote my last post, I began to think. What other no-no’s are people doing at work that just need to stop. And it hit me:

Don’t cry at work! Keep it together, people.

You’re probably thinking, “Duh, Kristen- who cries at work?” I’ll tell you who cries at work- people at their wits end, confiding in whoever they believe is their most trusted colleague in that moment of uncertainty. They aren’t crying on the sales floor or in the conference room- they’re burying their face in their hands at their cubicle or running into the bathroom for a total meltdown on their lunch break. And some of those criers are shedding a tear to someone at work who “understands.”

Now there are many reasons that you shouldn’t be crying at work, but let me tell you the biggest reason not to: PEOPLE DON’T FORGET.

So, I will tell you that I have cried at work. Cleary not my proudest moment, but it did happen. I was in a new position that had just been created. It had no guidelines and no one really knew what I should be doing. There wasn’t a lot of support for the position, mostly because people just didn’t understand what the position was all about. My leadership wasn’t supportive and I went from being on a team to being all alone with no one to help me navigate this new program that needed to be implemented.

After about a year, I had enough. I just couldn’t take it anymore. I went to my old boss and asked if he wouldn’t mind speaking to me for a minute. I then took him outside, and cried my eyes out about everything that I believed was wrong with everything ever. Why did I do that? I just felt like he would understand.

Flash forward two years later. I had quit that position and was back on my old team. I was going for a promotion and I was so excited…until my boss pulled me aside and asked if I was going to be able to handle it emotionally. I was floored- didn’t he know I was just venting-that it was just a melt down that had nothing to do with him and this new job? I mean- wasn’t that two years ago?

Here’s the thing: if you are going to totally lose it at work- do it alone. You just never know what will happen in the future, and for that matter, who will be dictating your future at work.

Cry in your car. Cry to your best friend. Cry at your house, but don’t cry at work.

Trust me, people don’t forget.

by Kristen Keyes

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