Thursday, October 3, 2013

Only You Can Make the Change

All too often we spend our time dwelling on the way that we wish things might have been or how a particular situation should have unfolded for our lives to be better. We may or may not choose to talk about it with others, but regardless it plays over and over in our heads like an early morning infomercial for exercise equipment you’ll want to buy and never actually use.

Sometimes we decide to take a stand and approach the people we believe have wronged us in theses situations or worse, we opt to be proactive and take a stand before anything has actually happened. Unfortunately, the stands we take are often met with attitudes and reactions that make us feel vulnerable and defensive towards the change that we imagined would occur in our lives had we spoken up the first time these situations bothered us. We might even be met with confusion if the stand that is taken is not even applicable to the person with whom you have decided to take on.

While we can’t go back in time and right our wrongs or the wrongs of others, we certainly do not need to make others pay for the consequences of other people’s actions. If you want to make a change because you didn’t like the way something worked out, then it’s time to take ownership of yourself in a major way. Ownership is taking self-responsibility for who you are being at any given time (including your emotions, your actions, your attitudes, your body language, etc.). It allows you to be the person that you would like to be and that you can be proud of being.

Self-Awareness is the first step in ownership. Without having a keen understanding of who you are and why you react to and do the things that you do, it is not possible to change your circumstances. Pay attention to patterns, repetitious events, and the automatic responses you have towards others. Keep a journal to document what makes you tick, what makes you want to jump overboard, and anything else that seems worthy of noting. Be sure to look back at your entries to see if you would have the same reactions today that you did at the time that even occurred.

Remember: Self-Awareness is a process and true ownership takes time and practice. And practice makes perfect.

By Kristen Keyes

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